The Horror Corner

The Very Important Affiliate of Awesome

2010-06-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

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The Horror Corner: Resident Evil Afterlife

2010-05-02T01:53:00.001-07:00

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They're making ANOTHER Resident Evil movie? FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

The Horror Corner: The Wolfman

2010-02-26T20:05:00.001-08:00

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In this February episode of the Horror Corner, we bring you into the deep depths of the English woods of the 1800's to evoke an old image of sheer terror, the Wolfman! We're looking at the release of the original movie in a Special Edition 2-DVD set, and we're reviewing the remake that just hit theatres!

Holiday Special #2: "Demonbane" with The Monster Under The Bed

2010-01-01T10:29:00.001-08:00

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Happy New Year!!! On this special episode of the Horror Corner, we're also introducing our co-host for the very first time, The Monster Under The Bed! He watches bad movies and other things, and this time he has to endure the nightmare known as "Demonbane." Will he survive?

Holiday Special #1: The Call of Cthulhu (2005)

2009-12-25T06:53:00.001-08:00

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Merry Christmas! Welcome to the Horror Corner, because on today's episode we're going over an adaptation of the granddaddy of modern horror, HP Lovecraft's, classic story "The Call of Cthulhu" as part of a duo of Lovecraft-themed holiday episodes! Enjoy, guys!

Episode Thirteen: Demon Days Retrospective/Review Part 2

2009-12-20T12:02:00.001-08:00

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Part two of the Demon Days retrospective, featuring Every Planet We Reach Is Dead, November Has Come, All Alone, White Light, DARE, Fire Coming Out of a Monkey's Head, Don't Get Lost In Heaven, and Demon Days. That, and some madness. Awesome!

Ep. Twelve: Demon Days Retrospective/Review Part One

2009-12-14T02:49:00.001-08:00

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Part one of a Demon Days retrospective/review hosted by Kenny Farino and co-host Curt Hoeckele! Demon Days, by the Gorillaz, is a revolutionary album that came out in 2005. This part features Intro, Last Living Souls, Kids With Guns, O Green World, Dirty Harry, Feel Good Inc, and El Manana! Let the madness begin!

Call of Cthulhu Review

2009-11-24T15:49:00.000-08:00

Howard Philip Lovecraft was an American writer who was born on August 20th, 1890, starting his career as an author of 'weird fiction' for pulp fiction magazines. Weird fiction was used to describe tales that, now, would be classed in the genres of fantasy, horror, and science-fiction. His main emphasis was on cosmic horror, depicting entities and situations that are beyond the minuscule scale of comprehension that humans share. As a result, the protagonists of his tales are usually driven insane.

He looks like a horror writer, doesn't he?

One of H.P. Lovecraft's most famous creations was the Cthulhu Mythos, an entire fictional universe that was later expanded on by many other authors in the years to come, many of whom were inspired by his work. This includes August Derleth, Robert Bloch (of "Psycho" fame), and Lin Carter. One of the most famous tales to come out of this mythos was "The Call of Cthulhu", which was written in the summer of 1926, and was published in Weird Tales, February 1928.

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This is about the tale of Francis Wayland Thurston, who discovers many forbidden manuscripts documenting, amongst other things, the discovery of a strange cult that worships a god known as "Cthulhu;" one of the tales found in this document even describes an encounter with this deity, newly awakened, in the supposedly lost city of R'lyeh. This third tale was told by the sole survivor of a wreck, Gustaf Johansen, whose crew was attacked on the Emma by the Alert, an armed ship that attacked with no warning. After learning everything there was to learn from the manuscripts, Thurston knew that he was doomed because he knew too much. This is a fairly hard story to explain because it has no linear structure, so all I can really tell you to do is read the story for yourself.

In 2005, the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society decided to undertake the tasks of adapting one of the most undapatable stories into a film, emulating the movie-style of the time that The Call of Cthulhu was written. This means that the HPLHS emulated the style of the silent film, using a technology called "Mythoscope" to create something that feels that it came straight out of the 1920's! This comes complete with custom title cards and its own symphonic score. They were hoping to create "the most authentic and faithful screen adaptation of a Lovecraft story yet attempted" (the back of the DVD). Did they succeed?

-The Good-

Good god, they actually succeeded! What?! How?! How did they take a compilation of stories and documents, and successfully mesh them together to make a linear story that still makes sense?! They pulled it off. The movie has segments with Thurston reading through the documents, and the stories are told in such a way that it is like a set of vignettes tied together, much like Tales From The Crypt or Creepshow. It is a very entertaining movie for a Lovecraft fan, and I'm happy to say that this is actually extremely accurate while allowing flexibility in its structure. In the behind the scenes, shooting in the silent film style forced the creators to think creatively, and also allow them to do things that modern films cannot when adapting a Lovecraft story.

The style is also beautifully done, emulating the 1920's feel with mostly success! The beginning starts off as a silent film would, the custom title cards and eerie musical score kicking everything off! The quality of the film is grainy, it has no color, and the lighting is beautifully executed to give a gothic, German Expressionistic feel to the movie. Speaking of which, the lost city of R'lyeh is asymmetrical, nonsensical, and defies any natural law. To achieve this effect, the creators made scenery that was very reminiscent of the classic tale The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, a German film made in 1919. The props were also very accurate to the period, and it was an added bonus.

The actors were also tailored to look as they would have in a real silent film, make-up used to accentuate certain details that would compliment the lighting. 1920's actors had a very distinct look from the people of Hollywood, and the HPLHS were very careful to look at this detail. They also act not with their voices - since this IS a silent film - but instead act with their bodies and faces, deriving from the pantomime school of acting that was used. See, silent film actors were very much like stage actors before the advent of sound, vaudeville and plays translating neatly to silent movies since the two are more closely related than talkies and stage shows. Old Castro, for instance, reminded me of Renfield from the Universal Dracula movie in his style and overall crazy appearance and mannerisms. He was spot-on!

As a fan of silent films, owning several of them on DVD like The Man Who Laughs, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and several Lon Chaney Sr. movies, I can really appreciate how well they have mimicked the style of a bygone age.

By the way, HOW COOL IS THE CLAYMATION OF CTHULHU?! OH MY GOD THIS IS REALLY NEAT HOW THEY DID THIS! FANBOYGASM. Anyway, in the final portion of the third story, the feared squid god finally makes an appearance when he awakens in R'lyeh, the filmmakers using a really neat effect of green-screening the claymation monster on the backdrop to make him appear several stories high, out-sizing the human actors on screen. I found this out in the Extras portion of the DVD, and I'm actually inspired to try it with a later endeavor.

-The Bad-

Unfortunately, some aspects didn't work as well as expected. For instance, you could tell when a green screen was used in some scenes. I'm not talking about when it HAD to be used, like the sunken city of R'lyeh, but in scenes where they could have very easily just shot it on a built set, or on location. For instance, the swamp scene in the "Tale of Inspector Legrasse" segment was when the police were called to investigate a ritual involving the Cthulhu Cult. You could tell the cultists were green screened onto the swampy background, and I thought that was just really fucking lazy on their part. It was obvious that you guys had some sort of budget, why couldn't you just get the people out onto the swamp and have them be in there without the green screen? Or why not build the set in a studio like in the days of the silent film, and go from there? You could very easily manipulate the different elements of cinema like light and atmosphere, so why not do that?!

Actually, they could have done the same with some segments including the city of R'lyeh, because it looks like a cheap effect when they green screen people on there. However, I can excuse this latter part because the dream sequences with the city are green-screened, while most of the final scene featuring R'lyeh mostly have the actors on the set. Also, this was incredibly low budget ($50,000), so I'm just being a stickler here. There were also some segments that were slightly over-exposed, under-exposed, and what have you, but we can't be perfect when this isn't even a studio-produced film, right? Also, I'm not sure what was up with the water in the final segment of the film, but I'm sure in the days of silent films they were able to put people on real water. In this movie, they used a fabric material instead. What the fuck? Weren't they able to use water in Nosferatu and Dracula? Again, this was probably mainly due to the budget.

-The Verdict-

Despite the winging and the bitching, this was really well done for what it was: an extremely faithful adaptation of a Lovecraft story on a really low budget. Seriously, if you are interested in the exploits of Lovecraft or Cthulhu, please give this movie a shot. It's really awesome!

4.5/5

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate its contents"

Keep your eyes open for Part 2 of Lovecraft's Holiday Special, coming soon with a freshly severed talking head!

Horror Corner Presents Inappropriate Terror Ep. 2: Hobble-Roll (Misery)

2009-11-18T10:59:00.001-08:00

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Misery (C) Stephen King

Never Gonna Give You Up (C) Rick Astley

Silent Hill 2: Born From A Wish Scenario Review

2009-11-17T17:07:00.001-08:00

Silent Hill came into the video game world in 1999, shocking and enticing gamers all over the world with its macabre story, scary-as-hell soundtrack and sound effects, and disturbing scenery. Along with Resident Evil, it revolutionized the survival horror world.

In 2001, a sequel was developed that many would consider to not only be a peace of art, but one of the best video games of all time. Silent Hill 2 follows the exploits of James Sunderland, a man who received a letter from his dead wife Mary. When he was asked to meet her in their special place, he must journey to Silent Hill to solve the mystery of why his wife is seemingly alive. Along the way you meet not only a host of horrifying monsters, like the infamous Pyramid Head, but also a host of bizarre people, like Eddie and Maria, a doppelganger of James's dead wife.

Where the other games emphasized on the struggles of not only the psyche of the main character but with the crazed cult of The Order, Silent Hill 2 skips the religious fanatics and focuses on the conflict of James's guilt over the (spoiler) death of his wife at his hands. In December of 2001, an expanded edition was released, Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams. As well as being a port to the Xbox and PC, it also included new content like a mini-campaign featuring the character Maria called "Born From A Wish." Since the main game itself was reviewed to death by countless other reviewers, I think taking a look at this portion of the port would be cool and not out of the question, because let's face it... Silent Hill 2 is like the Stairway to Heaven of the videogame world: it's so good that everybody will say the same thing about it, and it will get ridiculously repetitive.

Synopsis

In Born From A Wish, Maria finds herself alone in the Heaven's Night Bar. Left with nothing but a revolver, she wanders the streets of the town with the wish of finding a sign of human life. She eventually comes across the Baldwin Mansion, coming across Ernest, a man who has locked himself inside a room with the desire to be alone. In true Silent Hill style, Maria takes on the task of solving the puzzle to find out what's going on, and even find out more about herself.

Let's move on to what was good about this game!

The Good

The story was the strongest point about this campaign. Since this is a supplement of the main game, it's a little difficult to understand the significance of the plot in Born From A Wish so it's crucial to have played as James Sunderland before you tackle this head-on. The story is unique because it actually explores the character of Maria a little more, and it's fascinating to actually learn about her because of her role in the main story. It doesn't give away what EXACTLY she is, but it hints at a few things so the subtlety is still there.

The Bad

It was too damn short. The length of this game is, depending on what difficulty, an hour in length. However, I beat it in only 30. This game is so short, that there have actually been speed runs as fast as ten minutes. I know that, technically speaking, this is probably best to be considered as an expansion pack, but in the end it didn't actually feel very rewarding. It felt like the length of a proper demo, since the Bioshock demo and the Left4Dead 2 demo were actually longer than this. It's a shame, because Maria's story would have been some very interesting ground to tread.

If anything related to this game is longer than your game, than you're in trouble.

I could complain about the voice acting, the controls, and everything else that goes along with a Silent Hill game's negative aspects, but in the end it doesn't really matter because the Silent Hill franchise is not focused on the technical aspects; instead, the narrative quality of Silent Hill 2: Born From a Wish is what the creators were concerned about. Born From A Wish has the same technical hiccups, but we're not going to get into that. However, something that did piss me off a little bit was the emulation in some aspects. When Curt, my friend, was reading through the walkthrough for this, he said that I will pass by a table in the lobby of the mansion, and run past it. There was just a white X on the ground. When I came back later, it suddenly appeared! When I ran past a chandelier later on, it was stark white with no detail whatsoever. When I ran past it again, it was perfectly fine. When a Mannequin monster was attacking me, I ran past it and went into the room I was meant to go into. When I came back into the hall, the critter wasn't there to greet me. When I went into the hall again, though, there it was, swinging its legs about viciously instead of playing possum like it is supposed to.

Microsoft, there were so many damn complaints against the emulation of this game with earlier emulators of the original Xbox for the 360, and even this latest version brings forth some glitches. Are you guys gunna fix the problem, or just hide it?! But this is not an issue with Silent Hill 2: Born From a Wish itself, so no points are docked off.

Verdict

In the end, this review is going to be short and sweet because it would be weird if the technical criticisms are longer than the actual product being criticized. The story, as usual, was peachy keen, but the length was the main problem that I had with this expansion pack. With that said, I'm going to give this sucker a:

3.5/5

I would add the standard game rating system, but this campaign is really too short to properly judge on those aspects. Either that, or I'm too damn lazy.

F.E.A.R. Review

2009-11-17T17:00:00.001-08:00

Well. It's finally come to this. A movie reviewer has finally gone to the Dark Side, and decided to review a game.... dear God.... No, that's a lie. I've actually been intending to review video games, novels, and comics in addition to movies for a little while now, so here's my first actual review that focuses on just that! So here we go, let's review F.E.A.R., the 2005 game for the PC, PS3, and Xbox 360!... this is where a themesong would probably be if this were a video series. Hmm... this is awkward... uh... LOOK OVER THERE, A PREMISE!

Synopsis

F.E.A.R. was developed by Monolith Productions in 2005, and was released on the three aforementioned systems above. It received extremely good ratings from the likes of IGN, received two awards on the Best Enemy AI, and gained John "Halloween" Carpenter as its spokesperson after the studio showed it to him. That, sir, is bad-ass!

Yes, that one!

So what is the premise? You are the Point Man, an operative of the F.E.A.R. faction. The F.E.A.R. team is a branch of the government that investigates paranormal activity, and is kept secret from everybody else. Like Team Jericho, but cooler. Anyway, shit hits the fan when a whacked-out operative named Paxton Ferrel takes control of a telepathic clone army (don't you dare think of The Clone Wars), and takes control of the Armacham Technology Corporation. It is your job to neutralize him before he is able to pull off any horrible deeds, and you are completely alone as you not only battle legions of these supersoldiers, but also encounter a creepy and incredibly powerful entity named Alma. How does Alma fit into the story? She sends the Point Man into what can only be described as Mindfuck City, easily making these portions some of the freakiest in the game.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, NOT THAT MINDFUCK CITY.

Now that we've gone over the basic premise, let's see what makes this game so universally-acclaimed back in the day, shall we? I'm going to try and make this formatted with the other game reviews on this site, but I'm also going to try and incorporate my own style so bear with me on this one!

The Good

One of the first things I noticed about F.E.A.R. that made me particularly happy was the general aesthetic and atmosphere. While you're on your way from point A to point B, you come across some dark, foreboding set pieces that, while a bit simplistic, still inspire some fear. It's mostly the huge amount of shadows that seem to saturate the game, creating a darkness that sticks with you throughout the game. When the mindfucks start to happen, or you see a ghostly apparition appear out of nowhere, you know you're going to be in for a daunting treat! The darkness scared the crap out of me, particularly because I just have a fear of complete darkness. Which is why I have such a hard time keeping my head on when I play most modern horror games. YAY.

Speaking of keeping your head on straight, that can be a little hard with millions of bullets whizzing and banging each and every way. Yes, I'm talking about the gunfights that happen throughout a majority of the game. When you're not quietly lurking in the darkness, you're killing loads of Clones before they kill you. The action is friggin' intense from start to finish, and you're kept on edge throughout! The AI is actually extremely intelligent thanks to the programing, and their strategy adapts to whatever situation they can manage to kill you. They duck behind walls and pop out only when you approach, and you can die in an instant if you're not extremely careful about how to handle them. F.E.A.R. doesn't encourage Rambo/Halo 3 tactics of charging like an invincible mantank, and you can't absorb damage like Master Chief either. If you get shot too many times, you WILL die.

Like this dude you are NOT.

A favorite mechanic of mine, which is probably a little overused in games but I wouldn't know because I am new to the gaming world, is the slow-motion mechanic. With the press of a button, you can slow down time! Use this skill wisely, because it's not a "Get Out Of Dying Free" card. If you need time to look around for an enemy, use it! If you need time to run across a room without assholes turning you into Swiss cheese, use it! If you want to jump out and go Rambo on seven dudes at once,... it's not encouraged. In fact, you will die instantly if you tried that tactic with or without the slow motion, so don't do that! Strategy is good, and picking off enemies like Classic Michael Meyers, or any other slasher villains, is heavily recommended!

SLOWMOOOOOOOOOOOO

The horror in this game is also freaky as hell. When it first came about, I had no idea what to expect. You experience massive hallucinations, the setting changing in an instant into a horrific atmosphere, heavily emphasizing Japanese horror. Particularly when the antagonist, Alma, appears, who happens to be a ghostly child who makes it her mission to make your life a living hell. When I bought the game, the clerk told me about one of the hallucination sequences... which I am not going to spoil, because you need to experience it for yourself. The explanation didn't sound nearly as scary as when it actually happened, and I screamed like a little girl. There are also small blips of paranormal mindfuckery when your on-screen display starts to flicker, a ghostly figure walking past you, furniture moving by itself, lights flashing and breaking, or pipes bursting to make flame block your path.

This is what happens when you fuck with Alma.

The music was extremely creepy when the occasion called, but it also brought about some epic battle music when some intense gunfights came around the corner. The voice acting was also superb, and the sound effects complimented the visual atmosphere very well! Screeching, ghostly giggling, whiz-bang action, and some terrifying sounds when the mindfuck moments come along, this was one of the highlights for me!

Immersion is also incredibly important in a game, and it really immersed you into its creepy story and atmosphere. No large, unskippable cutscenes, which is a huge plus for me!

Now, let's groove on down into the bad.

The Bad

The graphics were the first thing I noticed about this game: since it is an older game in the 360 library, they aren't as good as today's standards. Granted, when F.E.A.R. came out it looked amazing, but they aged a little when all of the great atmospheric shadows are taken away. There were also a few twitchy glitches in F.E.A.R. that, while not hindering or destabilizing the enjoyability of the game, are sometimes a bit strange. Take for instance when you shoot an enemy soldier. If he falls down a great distance, his weapon or his corpse may get stuck in a wall, and there will be a rattling noise caused from the body getting stuck in an inappropriate place. This is just a nitpick more than anything, so that's not anything too bad to whine about.

This is what happens when you nitpick.

Another thing that I'm probably nitpicking about is the flickering of the on-screen display when weird shit's about to go down. When this happens, you know that something supernatural's going to go down, and a predictability starts to produce itself when this happens after a while. However, this is just a nitpick.

My main complaint is the controls.

The controls are sometimes a little twitchy and unforgiving, although I can see why since this was a PC port. In a gunfight, I sometimes find that my efforts to point a gun at some Clone troopers results in completely missing the mark, aiming above their heads and getting a stomach full of bullets as a result. This particularly happened with the slow-motion mechanic, and it was annoying when things got frantic. I found this happen to me several times, especially when I was fighting the mechas that would come later on in the game. These suckers had rocket launchers or powerful beams, and I tried to turn on the slow-motion so I could aim at them. Many times, the aim was above their heads or to the side because my frantic motions translated into moving too far. You need keep cool and try to be as fluid with your motions as possible, or you're going to die. You are going to die quickly if you are frantic and in a guns-ablazing-Halo-mindset.

The Verdict

This is an excellent game overall, one of the grooviest games I have played yet. I'm just getting into the FPS mindset, and this was a great introduction. F.E.A.R. evokes thinking, this game scares the shit out of you, and this game needs strategy to beat. I got this for $13, and it was worth every penny! Seriously, you can find this game cheap, and you can have the time of your life! It's a worthy investment!

Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 Review

2009-11-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a man named John Carpenter. In 1979, he made a little independent film about a masked killer who hunted down babysitters. This film was Halloween, the definitive film that helped launch the sub-genre of horror called the slasher. For the next decade, many other films would bring about their own influence on the face of horror, like Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Fast forward two decades later to the 2000's, the Remake Years; Hollywood devised a plan to remake classic horror films beginning with Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2003. In 2007, a young and up-and-coming director called Rob Zombie decided to rehash a legend among legends: Halloween. There were mixed reactions amongst fans, but it was universally panned by critics. Although the story was mainly left intact, it was a brutally violent mess with annoying, out-dated characters, out-of-place themes, and a misinterpretation of the main villain. Instead of an average-sized man who is the representation of pure evil, we get a wrestler with a vengeance. It wasn't that good. However, this wouldn't be the last of the Rob Zombie Plague.

In the summer of 2009, Zombie struck again with the release of another trainwreck, Halloween 2. If you think the first was bad, it looks like Evil Dead 2 in comparison to its sequel. It really wasn't groovy. I had to bring a friend with me to see this thing because I didn't want to brave this hurricane of crap by myself.

SHIT.

Synopsis

This film starts where the last one left off, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) being rescued from Michael Meyers's rampage. While she is trying to adjust to life after the horror, and after Dr. Loomis survived his encounter, the killer's corpse is taken from the scene of the crime. Pulling a Jason Voorhees, he wakes up while being taken to the morgue and shit hits the fan. Meyers follows Strode, and the horror begins again. We also have an interesting sub-plot where Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) writes a book about the events of the last film, battling with his inner-demons.

To prevent myself from making this totally biased, even though I despise this film, let's try and find some good things about it. This will be quite an effort, but I'll be damned if I didn't try...

The Good

Rob Zombie has a nasty habit of inserting some bizarre, weird visuals into his movies. He did it with House of 1000 Corpses, and he did it with Halloween 2 as well. What do I mean? Gothic motifs and imagery that predominantly occurs throughout his movies. Even though this film is terrible in its own right, some of the gothic aesthetic is visually appealing. For instance, when one of the characters goes into a dreamlike state, Michael takes Laurie Strode to a gathering of strange creatures with pumpkins on their heads, the Lords of Halloween. Granted, while this really had no relation to the actual movie, it was neat to stare at for a second.

Also, while another motif was in itself fucking retarded, the white horse was also visually appealing.

The only other good thing I can really think of in terms of Halloween 2 was the Dr. Loomis subplot going on between the nihilism, gothic imagery, and unflinchingly brutal murders. I'll admit, I wasn't that big of a fan of how Zombie portrayed Dr. Loomis in this film, but I'll leave that for the bad section. However, the way that Loomis is constantly battling internal demons is interesting in itself, being accused of making a profit off his book, which in a way is like profiting off of the deaths of innocent people. While he constantly battles these accusations, he soon discovers that he was absolutely wrong. There was even a part where he was brought onto a talkshow where the host and... Weird Al?... ridicule him in a funny way. Honestly, this was my favorite part of the movie, and the whole subplot was the most enjoyable part of Halloween 2 for me.

Nou!

There was also one truly touching moment when Strode's step-dad discovers that his own daughter has been brutally killed, and Laurie has been kidnapped. You actually felt his pain, and I was able to actually feel something for the brief nanosecond that it happened.

Unfortunately for this movie, I wouldn't be here if I were actually praising this godawful atrocity. Let's move on!

The Bad

...wait, where do I begin? There was so much wrong with Halloween 2 that there will be a hell of a time actually figuring out what to put first. Maybe it's best if I start from the beginning.

First off, let's talk about the characters. As I have said before, characters are the most vital portions of any good story, but what happens when there aren't any characters you can even relate with? Major and minor characters suffer from having some form of disease called Cuntheadcitis, and can be diagnosed from these symptoms:

- A desire to have sex with corpses: Yes, I'm not kidding here. In the beginning of the film, when the coroners are taking the bodies of the supposedly-dead Meyers and his victims, one of them tells the driver how the bodies of one of the dead teenagers was still oh so very attractive and fuckable even after that little thing happened with dying. Is Zombie trying to project his lust for corpses in a not-so-subtle way? Well, one of his movies IS called House of 1000 Corpses...

Necrophilia - When the living are no longer so interesting

- What we call "Drunken Teenage Idiot" syndrome. Further into Halloween 2 after Laurie discovers that her brother is Michael Meyers (big surprise there), she goes to her friends for help. They're not really good friends when Laurie suggests that they go out and drown her sorrows in a kegger, and they let her. Yes children, the best way for your friend to get over the emotional trauma of knowing her brother is a notorious serial killer is to drink until you can't stand.

Classy

The main characters, aside from a FEW, are also completely unlikable. Especially Laurie Fucking Strode. First, let me give you the characteristics of the original, played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Throughout her appearances, she has been the good girl. She didn't get drunk, she refrained from ditching her responsibilities, and she tried to do the right thing. Even after the first film, she kept it together and didn't let her daunting encounters with Meyers destroy her life.

The new Laurie Strode, Scout Taylor-Compton, makes me want to... okay, here's a visual for you. Imagine somebody you really don't like, whether it be an ex-boyfriend, a school bully, or Hayden Christensen. Got that? Good. Now, imagine you were a cross between Jigsaw, Leatherface, and a Bond villain, and imagine you just built the most painful, diabolical deathtrap of all time. Now imagine subjecting said person to that. That's how I feel about this new Laurie Strode. After the events of the first film, her life has completely gone to shit, and she has completely changed her outlook on life. That's right, Rob Zombie has raped the character of Laurie Strode beyond recognition. Nihilist, gothic/emo, hateful of everyone and everything, probably a cutter, and heavily anti-Capitalist... wait, what?

We go from this...

to this?!

Oh yeah, did I mention Rob Zombie also threw in some heavily political messages in here? Yup, he managed to make a slasher POLITICAL. In one scene, Laurie and her Nihilist buddies even talk about it in full detail and say "fuck Capitalism, it's evil!" So when did we get launched into the 1960's - 1970's, here? Zombie's anti-Capitalist message is emphasized by the characterization of Dr. Loomis, the representation of ultimate good in the last film, and in the original series. He was there to oppose Michael, and was against everything the villain stood for, much like Dr. VanHelsing and Dracula's relationship in the 1931 Dracula. In this movie, he's famous and exploiting the events of the last film to get mass amounts of money. Capitalism = evil, am I right Rob Zombie?

Zombie can't even get a book cover right.

Basically, what I was saying was that the two crucial characters from the original film have been malformed into something completely different and ill-fitting in this slasher film. The main point of the Survivor Girl is to not be that one drunken bimbo at a party, and not lose her cool even in the most dangerous situations. She is supposed to keep strong and prevent her whole world from falling apart while sticking to what she believes is right, not let everything come crashing down and reject her old lifestyle for one of excess and pessimism. The character of Laurie Strode has been destroyed by Rob Zombie, giving us a main character who I actually wanted to see get stabbed to death. The character of the Ahab is to represent the ultimate good, and try to crush the ultimate evil before he takes more lives. Dr. Loomis WAS this in the original and first remake, but now he's been reduced to a money-grubbing businessman with a lack of morals that not even his realization and confrontation with Michael near the end can redeem. We are in a Bizarro World, where the characters you are supposed to care for are the ones you care the least about.

While we're on the subject of characters, let's look at the star of the show, Michael Meyers. In the original, he was an average-sized man. In the remakes, he is a behemoth. In the original, his mask never came off, and his identity was always a mystery. In the remakes, his fucking mask comes off, and you see his face. In the original, you know nothing about him. In the remake, he hallucinates/dreams to himself and has internal monologues with his inner-child and mother, who has a white horse... wait wait, WHAT?

... you're kidding me... so wait, why on Earth did Zombie take a silent, deadly representation of pure evil, and give the audience insight to absolutely everything that goes on in his mind, thus making him more human and understandable to the audience? Well, in issue #286 of Fangoria, a respected horror magazine that has been providing news in the genre for 30 years, Rob Zombie said (and this is paraphrasing because I don't have it here with me) that revealing the inner-thoughts would make him scarier. NO IT WON'T. If you take all of the mystery of something away, it spoils what makes it frightening in the first place. For instance, children are afraid of the dark because it is the unknown; they have no idea if there is a monster under the bed, or in the closet. However, if their mom or dad comes in and shows them that there is nothing in the room with the kid, they will feel significantly better because they now know there is nothing to fear. It was the same with Meyers. You never knew his true intentions in the original film, and he just stalked babysitters. This was what made him scary. In this remake sequel, Meyers is looking for his sister to have a family reunion. How is that scary? How does that make sense? It doesn't.

I've gone on for a good while on the characters, so let's focus on other things... like... like... the story? I hesitate because there is no real story to this except for the very vague explanation that Michael wants to bring Strode to some shack to have a family reunion. Aside from the Loomis Subplot, there is very little to work with in terms of story, since most of Halloween 2 is told via cryptic metaphors derived from dream sequences.

However, what I could definitely see from all of this was Rob Zombie's almost sexual obsession with deaths. Each and every single death in Halloween 2 was drawn out for at least three minutes, the victim's suffering elongated, shown in full, and made to be gory as hell. I felt so bad for the nurse who was stabbed at least 30 times when Michael found Laurie in the hospital, and I said thank god not only when the sadist finally left the scene, but when that poor character was out of her misery. Jesus Christ, even Dr. Loomis gets a horrific death, getting his head... crushed or stabbed? I forget because it was so traumatizing that my mind has blanked it out completely. All of these equated to maybe half of the movie, especially the scenes that had no relevance like in the strip club when Michael just rips through there and brutally murders one dude, and then two other people who were just about to have sex.

Not only does the drawn out sadism bother me, but it's the fact that Michael actually put passionate "GRR. UGN. UGNs" into his killing that bothered me. Classic Michael just took a second to kill whomever, and moved on without getting too involved with it. That's the opposite of what Remake Michael does.

Another thing that really bothers me about this is how Remake Michael seems to resemble Jason more than he resembles Classic Michael, both in appearance and story. It's a bit obvious as to how he resembles Jason, but now he's also inherited his rival's mommy problems. From the cryptic dream sequences with his mom to listening to her every command, Michael Meyers is basically Jason Voorhees! The ending to this film is also ripped straight from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, where the main villain is killed and the protagonist is so mentally messed up that they actually inherit the mantle as the next mass-murderer. Tommy Jarvis did it in Friday 4, and Laurie Strode did it in Halloween 2. Don't believe me? Here's a review of Friday 4 I did for reference:

(shameless self-promotion? MAAAAAAAYBE)

Basically, Rob Zombie ripped off the Friday series, in more ways that one.

On one last note, it doesn't help when most of the story consists of the characters just cursing their heads off. There's one dream sequence where Strode has a dream where she's screaming "SHIT FUCK CUNT FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK FAGGOT FUCK" for a good minute or so. Yay storytelling? The added psychological things don't help, but I already touched on a lot of that before, so there's no need to go back and dwell on it.

Without the awesomeness, likability, or structure.

The technical aspects are also something to mention because Rob Zombie is a horrible director, through-and-through. On many of the shots, he breaks this one sacred rule of filmmaking called the 180 Rule, which is there not to confuse the hell out of the audience. This is probably one of the reasons why I was so confused while watching this movie. Many of the camera shots were also obscured by blood or rain, and that was just a poor choice in not fixing it. For instance, when Strode runs outside of the hospital to the security shack, Zombie chooses to have the camera look through the rainy window, which obscures the visibility of the shot to a point where it really pisses you off. I could comment on the editing as well, but at this point it would be like kicking a dead horse with how bad Halloween 2 is. A white horse.

The Verdict

Okay, let's make a checklist:

Unlikable characters, in many more ways than one
Poor filming, editing, and score
Rip-off of Friday the 13th series
Radical departures from original characters
Ultra-sadistic violence
Pretentious psychology
Politics

This was a list of all of the bad aspects, many of which can be split into sub-reasons for your enjoyment. It doesn't help that the only good things about this are small and almost insignificant, one of which is canceled out altogether with Loomis's grisly demise. Halloween 2 is beyond help, and I'm only going to sound like many other reviewers when I say that Rob Zombie has made the opposite of Citizen Kane. Halloween 2 is worse than Twilight, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and all other torture porns in existence. This was a waste of the $8 dollars I paid to see it, and t was a waste of an evening. I spent an entire week ranting about this to my friends, and it was for a very good reason.

0.5/5

Horror Corner Presents Inappropriate Terror Ep. 1: Dancing Doom

2009-11-16T18:29:00.001-08:00

Click to Play

Doom 3 (C) iD Entertainment

Dancing Queen (C) ABBA

No rights reserved.

Halloween Special: Vampire Hunter D Review with STAR

2009-10-31T10:36:00.001-07:00

Click to Play

Happy Halloween, everybody! On today's episode of the Horror Corner, we're going to review Vampire Hunter D with a very, very special guest! STAR of STAR Anime Reviews is going to pop in, and we're going to take on this legend of a film. Enjoy, guys!

Repo! The Genetic Opera Review

2009-09-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

Cthulhu phtagn, guys, and welcome to the third article of the Horror Corner! This week... I'm going to review something I've actually been looking forward to writing about. Originally, I intended for this to be a video much akin to the ones found in my personal blog, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because of the content of what I'm reviewing. That, and there is so much wrong with this stinker that I was afraid I might have exceeded 10 minutes had I done a video. So alright, here we go. We're reviewing Repo! The Genetic Opera, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman. The dude who directed Saw 2, 3, and 4.

Damn it, this is going to hurt.

-Synopsis-

Basically, this movie is about the not-too-distant future, apparently, as organ failures are becoming dangerously common among ordinary people. A new company comes out of nowhere, GeneCo., which has the answer to this epidemic: loaning organs to people who can't pay for transplants to save their lives. Which is weird because I'm sure giving people replacements is going to help much in a world where mass organ failure is an everyday occurrence. Anyway, if people can't repay their loans in time, GeneCo., being the savior of mankind that it is, sends a Repoman to savagely rip out the person's organs. Yes, organs are repossessed in the same way that a car or house can be if you don't pay your debt.

In the meantime, the main arc is about Shilo, played by Alexa Vega of Spy Kids fame, who is the daughter of a Repoman, played by Anthony Head of Buffy fame. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as this terminally-ill child goes out of her way to defy her father and find out more about her past. This sounds disturbingly like an anime...

ANYWAY. Shenanigans ensue, and by shenanigans I mean stuff that is incredibly confusing and nonsensical. More people in the cast include Bill Moseley, Ogre, Paris Hilton, Sarah Brightman, and Paul Sorvino. Aside from three people, the cast alone scares me out of seeing this movie. Especially when a good bit of it revolves around this twat:

Seeing the actual face of Paris Hilton will cause those who gaze upon it to melt.

Anyway, since I'd hate to come across as a biased [insert unsavory word here], let's first find some good things about this movie.

-The Good-

The gothic aesthetic that permeates through most of this movie can be appealing at times, making its own strange atmosphere in this apocalyptic future world of ours. With the combination of what seems like Universal Monster movies, Saw, and Astro Boy, it's a genuinely original concept that I enjoyed looking at. It could be a bit overwhelming at times, like the graveyard and the giant pile of bodies within, it was probably one of the better things in this film.

... you might expect a picture here, but I couldn't find anything. Don't kill me.

One of the other things I actually liked about this was how some of the people could actually sing. Anthony Head could sing to some extent (much akin to Johnny Depp could barely get there in Sweeney Todd), but the real stars in my eyes are Paul Sorvino and Sarah Brightman, who were the only things operatic about the whole damn thing. As in they sang opera. Hell, the song Sarah Brightman sings near the end is actually the only song I liked in its entirety because it was melodic, operatic, and had all of the other elements that songs should have. Unlike other songs in this trainwreck.

You might think this review is relatively long compared to my Dexter Season Two review so far, but that's because I didn't have that much to complain about when it came to that season. It ranked average in my opinion, but it was still kickass television so I had little to whine about. With this movie... well, let's say this: I took notes when I was watching it, and two pages equated to only twenty minutes into the movie, and all of those notes amounted to what was wrong with this movie. You know what you're in for.

-The Bad-

First off, let's complain about the story element of the movie, because there was just so much wrong in THAT respect. The story is something that a lonely housewife would put on deviantART… or Eli Roth’s wetdream. It’s confusing, but it’s covered in blood and sex. It makes no sense!

Why exactly would anyone legalize organ repossession? That makes no sense. Assuming this is the future, you would think that a) they would find medicine to fix this problem, and b) no sane supreme court would legalize the killing of people to repossess their organs if they don’t pay up. Seriously, and this isn’t a third world country where stuff like this can happen without warning, this seems to me like this takes place in America. There are easier ways to repossess something, but they insist on sending serial killers to kill people and take their organs. Was this a musical made by Charles Manson or something?

Also, why on earth would the Repoman take the organs so savagely and quickly? Wouldn’t that ruin the damn thing? What he does is basically find them, shove a knife in them, and rip the organ out as if this was Gears of War. Why not drug these people and take them somewhere to surgically take the organs out instead of going “Jack the Ripper” on them? Wait a second, he did do that in one scene, so the Repoman's style isn't only savage in one scene, but it is inconsistent throughout the whole movie. It's either one way or the other, make up your mind, Mr. Director/Writer!

I know movies are meant to utilize a suspension of disbelief in order to work, but this is just too ridiculous not to mention. Also, we have a special guest appearances in the form of plot devices! Sorvino's character, the owner of GeneCo., has a terminal disease, yet seems perfectly fine until the very end of the movie, when things are looking hopeless for Siloh and her dad. Magically, though, his terminal sickness kicks in, and he dies. Thanks, convenient plot devices!

In the end, the story is almost irrelevant because the three psychopaths/children who aided their father in his ambitions survived and ran GeneCo, being Bill Moseley, Ogre, and Paris Hilton. The only resolution to our story we get is Siloh deciding to make her own choices, but she’s still going to live in a world with GeneCo and Repomen so what’s the point?

Remember how I mentioned a gigantic pile of bodies earlier on? If there is a whole city where there are so many bodies dumped underneath and around it, wouldn’t there be rotting corpses, massive outbreaks of disease, and other obvious things so very wrong with the place? Maybe that’s why organs fail, BECAUSE THERE ARE BODIES LYING AROUND TO GENERATE DISEASE.

-unable to get picture because it may be illegal. Just saying-

Oh boy, let's talk about the characters. One of the most important things about a movie are the characters that inhabit it, whether they be death fodder in slashers to move the story along, a love interest to make a sub-plot, or an interesting and endearing character to make things interesting. With Repo!, you have none of this. Except perhaps the occasional death fodder. For instance, why is Paris Hilton nothing more than a slut on screen? I think the only reason she was chosen for the role, or the only reason that character exists, is to give Hilton a chance to relive her very short career as a porn star like in the movie that got her noticed. Twisted sex appeal? Perhaps... I mean, in one part she goes to what seems like a group of prostitutes to get injections or surgery (that's the new fad in the future), and look at the result:

What the hell.

Also, somebody please explain to me why most of the other cast members are like cardboard cutouts. Paul Sorvino's character has some shining moments of stupidity, like killing the doctor who tells him his disease is terminal (maturity at its best), but the people who are really good at being crappy characters are Pavi and Luigi Largo, played by Ogre and Bill Moseley respectively. One is obsessed with a sexual pleasure of wearing people's faces, and the other is psychotic, and will stab people for absolutely no reason.

While we're on the subject, let's go on about how they both resemble Leatherface and Chop-Top from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 in either appearance or mannerisms. Pavi Largo wears other people's faces. Enough said. Luigi Largo is an insane bastard, and he is even played by the same dude who plays Chop-Top. Leatherface wears faces, and Chop-Top is insane. Is this a theft of ideas? Speaking of a theft of ideas, the Repoman sings while he kills people, much like how Sweeney Todd does. More idea theft?

A little emotion from the actors would have been nice, you know. Apart from the Repo Man, everybody feels like a gothic robot. That’s what I hate, a charmless cast with about as much charisma as a dead goldfish trying to make you care about them. Speaking of no emotion, most of the songs also have as much charm as the cast. You don’t hear people humming the tunes of Repo! everywhere, and for very good reason. It’s not that some of the actors can’t sing, a few of them can. The problem is that the songwriters were very uninspired when they were meant to be doing their job, and what we get are some of the must unmemorable songs I’ve ever heard. Some of this is the quality of a children’s play.

(SEGWAY INTO MUSIC ASPECT)

Some things that were sung could have easily been spoken. Just because it’s an opera doesn’t mean every arbitrary detail has to be sung, or else it will just sound silly. “I’m going outside to catch this bug, and then I’ll go inside.” “I’ll take my meds.” Come on, that sounds stupid. In other musicals like Sweeney Todd, a much better operetta, the small details were spoken, and the songs didn’t sound so silly because they didn’t state the obvious. With Repo!, some things could have been better said than sung.

The transition of some songs is brutal, giving no warning before one of them starts. For instance, out of the blue, the song Seventeen starts up. Suddenly, a rock band comes out of nowhere and Siloh changes into leather rocker gear. All of this to tell her dad he's a bad parent? What is going on?!

Another song just made my jaw drop: “My brother and sister should fuck” “I’m the smartest and the toughest, I will find a hole, and fuck it.” Are these people mentally ill? Are they four years old? This is ridiculous!

The only truly operatic song in this genetic opera was ruined by the singer gouging her eyes out and being impaled. Subtle.

Finally, let's get into the technical film aspects to see why this movie is terrible, shall we?

The editing during some songs are so choppy and out of continuity that it makes them a pain to watch, like Vega’s first full song. It would have been less of a chore to watch if the editor took his medicine and didn’t spaz out. It was more like watching a music video than a movie or rock opera, what the hell is going on?

Speaking of editing, why is it that when Alexa Vega is meant to sing in the beginning of the movie, she does it off-screen, when the camera’s doing a wide shot, or at an angle where you can’t see her mouth? It made me think it was a different singer doing her voice, especially when we finally got to see her actually sing on camera. I think this was a poor choice in editing, but it could be a combination of both.

The comic-esque sequences in Repo! could have very easily been done by song. If anyone has seen a real musical, they can tell you that flashbacks can very easily be told by song. Take Sweeney Todd, again, for instance. “Barber and His Wife” is a song that tells of his past in a few minutes, while in Repo! what could have been the better songs are instead lazy comic-esque panels that act as exposition. Dull exposition. Is this a comic book movie? A rock opera? Make up your mind!

This was made by the director of some Saw sequels, and it shows. In some portions, the characters gleefully rip intestines and organs out, and the camera lingers on that for some time. In some portions, there’s actually a sexual tinge to the violence. For fans of the Torture Porn genre (I’m not making that up, there is a sub-genre with such a name), they’ll enjoy this. For anyone else, it’s hard to really get into the film’s childish obsession with sex and guts.

-The Verdict-

It’s a mess. Some people seem to love this, but you won’t find me calling myself a fan. With emotionally retarded characters, terrible music, and a story that’s incredibly confusing, not to mention being very poorly made in the process, this big fat train crash gets a big fat one out of five.

1/5

Dexter Season Two Review

2009-09-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

We've all been at a point in our lives where we think something's quality is declining as time goes on. People all knew the Star Wars universe was doomed when the prequels came out and reared their ugly heads, crushing the hopes of millions with Episodes 1 and 2. Television isn't any different; it happened to That 70's Show when most of the main cast disappeared except for Hyde, and it happened to Heroes when it started getting repetitive and silly. I thought this was going to happen to my all-time favorite show, Showtime's Dexter.

Dexter is the story of Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter analyst for Miami Metro Police Department who kills serial killers in his free time, following a code he was strictly taught by his step-father, Harry. I picked up the first season in Target, hearing some good things about it, and decided to give it a chance. Twelve adrenaline-fueled hours later, I was hooked!

Naturally, I would be excited to see Season Two in action after The Ice Truck Killer, the antagonist of the first season, was dealt with. I'm not giving anything away, so google it or watch the show. If I thought Season Two was any good, I wouldn't have given that introduction above, so there was something wrong with dear Dexter.

-Synopsis-

After the events of Season One, divers have accidentally come across the watery burial ground of Dexter's victims, soon unearthing a massive mystery for Miami Metro that will have our anti-hero sweating bullets. To avoid suspicion, Dexter signs up for AA. There, he meets Lila, and his world starts to fall apart at the seams.

Before we go into all that was wrong about this season, let's (begrudgingly) find some good things to like about it.

-The Good-

Admittedly, Season Two was good for mainly one thing, and that was character development. In the first season, Dexter is an emotionless killing machine, and he doesn't actually develop until halfway through the season. This isn't a fault with it, though, because it is executed beautifully! With Season Two, however, Dexter suddenly experiences an internal struggle as his whole world falls apart. Because of this, we get the Dexter we see in Season Three (which, by the way, kicks Season Two's ass, and has proven that this series is far from death); he's a cold-blooded killer, but he now has an understanding of a few new things. But... that was all I could find that was good with Season Tw- wait, no, here's another thing.

Sex. Lots of sex.

-The Bad-

The first thing that struck me with Season Two was a lack or toning down in the content that made the First Season such a smash hit. One of the things that made S1 so endearing was Dexter choosing and dealing with a new victim every episode, serial killers that he wanted to kill to satisfy his urges, and abide by the Code of Harry (kill people who deserve it, namely heinous criminals). In S2, there is a considerable lack of them. How he deals with them is also altered, namely making a transition from using power tools to simply stabbing them in the chest.

With that said, they added another staple to the series in S2, namely a gratuitous amount of sex. Granted, that's not a bad thing for the fans in their teens, but it made Dexter seem a bit... mainstream? Lots of other shows have steamy sex scenes, but how many have a lawman killing people in such an awesome way? NONE, I SAY. NOOOOOONE. It made the story seem a little emptier when at least 15-20 minutes of the 12 hours consisted of sex.

Another problem I had with S2 was the antagonist, Lila. After a few episodes, it gets pretty obvious that she's the villain you're supposed to hate, and you just want to see her die. Sure, it's a huge payoff when you finally see that happen, but that's not the point of Dexter. In S1 and S3, the main villains aren't even exposed until a good way into the season, the full extent of their treachery not fully realized until the ultimate climax! The Ice Truck Killer and Miguel Prado are both excellent villains in this respect, while Lila... falls flat.

This is bad-ass.
This is not.

Another reason why Lila just isn't a good villain is because she isn't remotely likable, which makes her somebody you just want to see die without any little niggling bits of sympathy. Rudy and Miguel are both 3-dimensional characters who have such a depth as to make them interesting and accessible. With Lila, she tries to kill children, and even successfully offs one of the main characters in S1 and S2, Sgt. Doakes. That's not good storytelling when you make the villain cartoonishly evil, you want a 3-dimensional baddy. Like Seth Brundle, or King Kong.

-The Verdict-

All in all, despite the fact S2 has some good suspense strewn in, it just has too little in common with S1 to hit home with a lot of the fans. Thankfully, S3 went back to its roots and then some, but its predecessor lacked too many of the things that made S1 good. Three out of five stars.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: Nightmare Warriors First Impression

2009-09-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

Hey there, this is the Horror Corner with your host Kenny Farino, and this time we're going to do a quick written review of a comic I'm really getting into nowadays, the third issue of which I'm eagerly awaiting: "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: Nightmare Warriors". This is the sequel to popular comic book series "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash", which was created by Dynamite Entertainment, and was released by Wildstorm Comics.

The story was a direct sequel to "Freddy vs. Jason," the long-awaited cross-over event of 2003 (a decade after it went into pre-production, in fact) that would bring the "Nightmare on Elm St." and "Friday the 13th" universes together! This time, "Evil Dead"'s Ashley Williams was forced to fight the two titans of horror that would result in Freddy getting trapped into another dimension, and Jason being trapped on the bottom of Crystal Lake.

"Nightmare Warriors" would be a sequel to this wildly successful comic series, picking up right after the first left off. However, since this is a first impressions, I can't really get into too much detail, or give a verdict of any kind. So what do I think so far?

-The Good-

Well, I can safely say that the artwork is amazing, just as it was in the original series! The characters and settings are rendered wonderfully, and the cover art for the first three issues in particular are the prettiest things I've ever seen on a comic cover in a while! There's plenty going on in the cover art without too much clutter or noise, and you can tell the artists really thought out what they were doing.

The characterization is also left intact, but you see some development going on here. Ash is settled down in the beginning, leaving his Deadite-fighting past behind him, and the Survivor Girl (excuse my slasher terminology) from the last series, Carrie, is also with him! Jason has a different look, thanks largely in part to the damage he took on at the end of "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash". He still rips everybody apart! The most surprising characterization development, however, is Freddy. When the government (...for some reason...) is able to bring him back from the Deadite dimension after hatching the brilliant idea of utilizing the Necronomicon to conquer other countries if a war is brought about, the old Fredster is human! He's not his ugly, charred self, he's how he looked in his days as the Springwood Slasher!

Not quite.

I don't have much else to really ramble on about here, so what were some bad things that I could find in my first impression of this series?

-The Bad-

The one thing I could find that was really a complaint so far was the beginning of the first issue after Jason gets loose. Nightmares, domestic life, and tons of things going on at once. For instance, I have no idea where this comes from, but somebody is watching "Army of Darkness" in the theatres. Suddenly, the Deadite General is replaced by Freddy. Then we never see it again. What the hell? Despite a shakily confusing beginning that requires a few reads, I can't really find anything else to complain about so far!

What a handsome fellow.

-The Verdict-

Well, since only two issues are released so far, I can't say. However, what I can say is that this is looking to be a really awesome comic series that all fans of Freddy, Jason, or Ash should check out!

Episode Ten: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

2009-09-05T20:43:00.005-07:00

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This is it, the final episode of the four-part Friday the 13th review series on the Horror Corner! This week, this is Jason's last stand as he hopes to hack and slash through an innocent family, and a bunch of horndogs, in the fourth movie of the enduring franchise! Does he succeed? Find out on this episode of the Horror Corner!

Episode Nine: Friday the 13th Part 3

2009-09-05T20:43:00.003-07:00

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This episode of the Horror Corner features the birth of the look of Jason Voorhees, complete with his standard hockeymask! With the addition of 3D gimmicks, and some guest appearances from the 80's, this movie might be in the danger of falling flat on its face. Does Jason's second outing have what it takes to be a good movie?

Episode Eight: Friday the 13th Part 2

2009-09-05T20:43:00.001-07:00

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After a long wait, we're going to review Friday the 13th Part 2 as part of our four-part retrospective. That's a lot of parts! This time, a dude with a sack on his head attacks hapless campers, and this particular guy is somebody horror fans should already know! Stay tuned to see if this movie gets trashed or saluted!

Episode Seven: Top Ten Victimized Monsters

2009-09-05T20:42:00.003-07:00

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We love an evil villain every now and again, but there are some villains who you have no choice but to feel bad for. From the silent era to today, these baddies still exist. So who do we feel for the most? Join us on this episode of the Horror Corner to find out who made the cut!

Episode Six: Friday the 13th (1980)

2009-09-05T20:42:00.001-07:00

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On this week's Horror Corner, we begin the first of a four-part review! Of what? The first four Friday the 13th movies! This means that this episode takes a look at the famous slasher that started it all! Will Betsy Palmer and Adrienne King get the pan, or will they rise to the challenge and triumph in this fright-fest? Find out on The Horror Corner!

Episode Five: Thriller Retrospective

2009-09-05T20:41:00.003-07:00

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In light of Michael Jackson's shocking and sudden death, I decided to do a retrospective of one of the most influential music videos of all time, the horror-themed Thriller. This goody includes Rick Baker doing special effects, John Landis, of An American Werewolf in London fame, directing, and Vincent Price's voice providing a bone-chilling rap. It's horror goodness!

Episode Four: Sleepaway Camp

2009-09-05T20:41:00.001-07:00

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Episode four brings us to a cozy camp location where we are introduced (or re-introduced) to the horrible world of Sleepaway Camp, what may have seemed like a copy of Friday the 13th that transformed into one of the famous cult classics to come out of the 1980's slasher cycle!

Episode Three: Bela Lugosi Retrospective

2009-09-05T20:40:00.001-07:00

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On this special episode of The Horror Corner, we'll be looking over the rise and fall of one of horror's most beloved icons, the famed Hungarian actor Bela Lugosi. From his early life as a child stage actor to his last films with Ed Wood, we have it all here!

Episode Two: Drag Me To Hell

2009-09-05T20:39:00.003-07:00

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This is the second episode where we have a retrospective of Sam Raimi and his film career, and then a review of his newest movie: Drag Me To Hell! This marks the return of horror legend Sam Raimi, and many fans have one question: does he still have the magic?

Episode One: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

2009-09-05T20:39:00.001-07:00

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Hello, and welcome to the first episode of The Horror Corner with Kenny Farino! Our first episode opens things up, and then plunges us into the first horror film ever created, the 1919 classic "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"! Starring Werner Krauss and Conrad Veidt, this is the essential film for any horror fan!